


infiltration

by Nokomis



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crushes, Fluff and Crack, Gen, MJ meets the Avengers, mj adores peter and shows it in her own way, mj and valkyrie would bond immediately we all know this, tony stark accidental spider-dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 16:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13252104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nokomis/pseuds/Nokomis
Summary: MJ crashes an Avengers celebration and lives her best life.





	infiltration

**Author's Note:**

> Perspexsea asked me for MJ and Valkyrie meeting and this happened. Set post-Ragnarok (and pretending Infinity War has happened and everyone came out it perfectly fine and ready to party!). Not in the same continuity as my other Spider-Man fics.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Peter hissed, somehow managing to look adorably stressed out even when covered from head to toe in his Spidey-suit.

“Chill out, dude, what are they gonna do? Give me detention?” MJ said, leaning her head just enough to see down the hallway past Peter. There was laughter and what sounded suspiciously like Ace of Base playing. Maybe Peter hadn’t been trying to play it cool when he’d claimed that Avenger parties were kind of boring.

“They might not let me hang out with them anymore if they think I’ve been telling everyone the access codes!” Peter said. He was shifting his weight between his feet nervously.

“But you didn’t,” MJ said patiently. “They’re just stupidly easy to guess.”

She had also charmed a disembodied robotic voice, which had taken more effort but less time. She didn’t think that was pertinent to the conversation, so she didn’t bother mentioning that. She ducked under the arm he was trying to block the hallway with and strolled towards the party.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Peter said, but he used the tone he always used when he gave up an argument with her. “Be cool, okay?”

MJ gave him her best _did you seriously just tell me that_ look, and Peter’s mask managed to look properly chagrined. Stark had done some WETA-workshop level work on the eyeholes of that thing. She made a mental note to make fun of him for it, and followed Peter into the party.

She wasn’t sure what she expected, but no one really paid any attention to her. As far as parties went it seemed like a pretty chill one. There were snacks and music playing, but most people seemed to be clustered in small groups talking, not dancing or doing kegstands or using superpowers in unconventional ways. 

MJ was a little disappointed.

She grabbed a mini-quiche from a table and ate it while taking a mental tally of how many well-known figures were in the room. It was a lot. “Probably there are enough resources in this room to end world poverty,” she said, “without even having to punch anyone.”

“I know, right?” Peter said, shoving his mask up enough to cram two of the mini-quiches in at once. MJ wrinkled her nose at him and he shrugged, grabbing a handful more.

They _were_ tasty. MJ took another few for herself.

“This is nice,” Peter said, once he’d eaten another half-dozen quiches. The platter was now sporting a few crumbs and little else. “Normally there’s no one, you know, normal around. Just old people.”

“Must be tough,” MJ said, and grinned when Peter tossed his used napkin at her.

“Mr. Parker, you didn’t say you were bringing a guest.” Suddenly _Tony Stark_ was there, raising his eyebrow at Peter. “Pleased to meet you, Miss…”

“This is MJ,” Peter interrupted hastily, clearly trying to keep her from saying something untoward.

MJ offered her hand as gracefully as she could and said, “Enchanted,” as Tony Stark shook it. “We were just discussing how very old you Avengers are. Do you think arthritis will hinder Iron Man’s movements, or are you going to switch to fully-unmanned suits to avoid inflaming your joints?”

She didn’t know which reaction was better, Peter’s scandalized, “MJ!” or the way Tony’s eye twitched.

“What a lovely young lady you’ve invited,” Tony told Peter.

“I--” Peter clearly didn’t know whether to rat her out or to just take the blow, but Tony solved the problem by suddenly saying, “Pepper!” and hurrying away.

“That was uncalled for,” Peter said.

“Well, he shouldn’t keep you on a string the way he does,” MJ said defensively. “You either be there for your kid or you don’t.”

Peter blinked. “I’m not his kid.”

“Aren’t you?” MJ said, raising an eyebrow. 

“And Mr. Stark is there for me,” Peter said. He looked across the room, where Tony was frowning at his reflection in a silver serving dish while Pepper looked amused. 

“Sorry,” MJ said, reaching out and patting Peter’s arm. The Spider-Man uniform felt like a basketball on a hot summer day. 

“It’s cool,” Peter said. “Um. Did you want to meet anyone, or did you just come to give Mr. Stark issues about his pending mortality?”

“That was just a bonus,” MJ said. She looked around the room. “Is Thor here?”

She knew the exact shade of red that Peter’s cheeks were under his mask. “Um, yeah, I think so. I haven’t exactly met him yet though, not formally, so I wouldn’t want to bother him, since he’s a king now and all…”

“Oh, I see him, come on,” MJ said. Peter’s hero-worship of Thor bordered on serious crush territory and MJ was absolutely not going to miss an opportunity to see him stick his foot in his mouth in front of a certified hottie.

She strode across the room to where Thor was drinking and talking animatedly to a scruffy-looking man who MJ recognized from the picture on the wall of her science class. As she got closer she could hear that the conversation seemed to revolve around Asgard settling on Earth. Thor had shown up on Earth again just after the battle, and the complexities of settling a new country was all that the news cycles were harping on. 

“Acquiring enough land has proven to be challenging,” Thor said. 

“No luck in Norway?” Dr. Banner said sympathetically. 

“They were ‘unwilling to allow Asgard to break away into its own sovereign land’,” Thor said, shrugging, and MJ was impressed at how stuffy he made his voice when he imitated whoever had turned him down. 

“You should seastead,” MJ said. Dr. Banner and Thor turned to her. She could feel Peter lurking behind her. Neither looked as though they knew what she was talking about. “I mean, you have that honking big spaceship, right? Just land that sucker in international waters and use it as the beginnings of a floating city.”

“That is worth considering,” Thor said thoughtfully. 

“I’m sorry, do we know you?” Dr. Banner said. 

“I’m MJ,” she said cheerfully. “This is Peter. Peter, say hi to your heroes.”

Peter waved. “Hi guys, good work with the defeating the bad guys.”

Thor smiled and gave Peter a thumbs up. MJ had to give Thor points for being a solid guy in the face of such lameness.

“Yeah, you too,” said Dr. Banner. He looked at MJ. “And… what is it that you do?”

MJ immediately regretted not having made a move on Peter yet just so she could answer this question with a, “Him.” Instead she shrugged and said, “Doing the high school thing. There’s a picture of you on the wall of my science class, and hardly anyone ever throws spitballs at it.”

Thor snickered. Dr. Banner took off his glasses and wiped them clean on his shirt. 

“Probably Dr. Banner doesn’t want to hear about that?” Peter said. MJ got the distinct impression that he wanted to flee, but she stood her ground. This wasn’t going all that badly, and a memorable first impression was always key.

“This so-called party keeps running out of drinks.” 

MJ watched transfixed as a woman in battle gear stumbled into Thor, then proceeded to use him to prop her boot on to adjust a strap, and then fell back gracefully onto the nearby sofa. She gestured grandly towards Dr. Banner and Thor and said, “One of you two, be a doll and get me a nice bottle of something, kay?”

“If Tony cut you off, it’s probably a good idea to switch to--” Dr. Banner started, but Thor interrupted.

“To another means of acquisition, exactly, my buddy.” He patted Dr. Banner on the arm. “Let’s go get this lady a drink.”

That left MJ and Peter standing in front of the woman, who eyed them up and clearly was not impressed. “You two kiddos run along now. Shoo.”

MJ had promised herself to never give in when someone shooed her away, so instead she settled comfortably on the couch beside the woman, sitting sideways with her feet propped on the cushion between them so she could watch her. “What’s your deal? Are you an alien, too?”

“Sure am, now scram before I zap you or whatever.” The lady didn’t sound angry so much as epically uninterested in meeting new people. MJ respected that, she really did. 

“Yeah, working on it,” she said, getting even more comfy on the couch. “Are you from Asgard?”

She got a sigh in response that she interpreted as a ‘yes.’ “I respect that you get to send your king to fetch you drinks. Ballsy. I like it.”

That, at least, got a smirk.

“MJ, maybe we should leave this nice lady alone,” Peter said. “Like. Maybe you could not insult everyone here?”

“I’m not insulting the lady,” MJ said. “I’m wanting to take notes. I need to know how to boss around monarchs. You never know when the opportunity is going to arise.”

Finally, the woman cracked a real smile. “The key is, you gotta remember that monarchy is a sham.”

MJ nodded. “Agreed.”

“Oh god,” Peter sighed. “There is another.”

MJ gave him just enough side-eye to let him know that reference didn’t go unnoticed. He raised his arms, clearing meaning ‘I’m out’ and left her alone with the alien lady, who was tugging at her boot again.

“You need help with that?” MJ asked, though she wasn’t really an expert in alien footwear. Was it alien footwear? Maybe she was wearing earth footwear and that was the issue. How many toes did Asgardians have? “Are they new?”

“No,” the woman said. She finally just shucked off the boot, dropping it unceremoniously to the ground, and then got to work tugging off the other. Five toes were the norm, apparently. “The opposite, actually. Been wearing these damn things since Sakaar.”

“That sucks,” MJ said, wondering if Sakaar was a place or a time. “I mean. There are shoe stores on earth?”

“Yeah, well, they don’t accept credits,” the woman said. 

“Well, you use them to fight the good fight, right? Make Stark get you new ones,” MJ said. She didn’t normally spend other people’s money, but whatever, Tony shouldn’t have let Peter get into this whole Avengers mess in the first place, risking his dumb ass when he should be studying for the decathalon. MJ might as well get revenge where she could.

The woman gave her an appraising look. “I like how you think. Oh, hey! Drinks!”

MJ looked up to see Thor and Dr. Banner, arms comically full of various bottles. “Okay, Valkyrie, we got you one of everything, because I know how you like to drink… everything,” Dr. Banner said. 

“Tonight is looking up,” Valkyrie said cheerfully. 

“We’re going to hit Stark up for new boots,” MJ explained to Dr. Banner and Thor.

Thor looked interested. Dr. Banner said, “Is that an option?”

MJ shrugged and looked around the room. Stark had been abandoned by Pepper and was now standing uncomfortably between Captain America and Bucky Barnes. “I think now’s a good time to try.”

MJ stood back and watched proudly as Valkyrie poked Stark in the chest and demanded footwear. He very quickly acquiesced, and MJ gave her a thumbs up.

She found Peter in the crowd talking animatedly to Falcon about where to find the best pizza. 

“Chicago,” she told them, just to see if Peter’s mask eye would twitch. It did.

“You’re the worst,” he told her very seriously. “Where’s your new best friend?”

“He’s totally jealous,” she told Falcon. “Isn’t it cute? He thinks he’s my friend.”

Peter’s mask eye twitched again. MJ was definitely crashing his Avengers get togethers more often. 

“She’s hitting Stark up for new shoes,” MJ told him. “Maybe Thor too? I was unclear on his stance.”

Falcon blinked at her.

Peter sighed. “MJ, you can’t just keep trying to make Mr. Stark’s life hard. He already gives me these very expensive suits that I keep ruining.”

MJ shrugged. “You know why.” She wasn’t uncool enough to show Peter’s hand in front of a new super-ally. 

Falcon laughed. “I hear there’s a bowling alley in the lower level. I was gonna round up Cap and the gang for a round or two. You two want to come?”

“Um, yeah!” Peter said, voice going alarmingly high with excitement, and that was definitely cute enough to justify staying for, even if it was for bowling. Maybe they’d run across a library on the way. 

“Lead the way,” she said, scanning the room for Valkyrie. She definitely needed to be exposed to earth customs, like bowling. Or rather, watching national icons bowl.

She had a feeling the views were going to be amazing.


End file.
